The Impossible Thing : Progress! and Swimming a Mile AGAIN.

Lost : 7 stone 4lb (102 lb)

Amount still to lose: 2 stone (28 lb)

Percentage of original weight lost: 33.5%

BMI : 28.8


So, I did it. Had to resort to the dreaded – albeit generous – calorie counting but I got to the lowest weight I’ve been since I was about fourteen. You know, when I was getting called all those names at school. See first The ImpossibleThing Blogpost on Previous Blog Cobbled Together from March 2017 when I’d lost 4 stone 4. All my other previous The Impossible Thing posts are there too.

At ukulele group the other day we did Sunny Afternoon. It has the phrase ‘big fat momma’ in. The group leader mentioned someone who’d objected to singing this. I didn’t have a problem with it but it reminded me that the list of names I wrote back in early 2017 isn’t complete. Yeah, I got that one as well. Except I was not a ‘momma’ and I’m not now, forty years later. I wonder if my list is now comprehensive. Who cares!

I’m now 14st 6 (202lbs). According to these scales. I have to say that. Am not quite convinced. My parents’ scales could easily tell me I’m still in the eighteens. When I last met Stella in Cov when I was staying at my parents, her first words to me were ‘You haven’t stood on your parents’ scales, have you?’

Answer : NO. My head doesn’t need messing with that much. Is this what 14.6 looks like? I look different from when I was fourteen … but don’t we all?

I’m not going to bore you with my calorie counting, suffice to say I’m eating half as much spread, a third less cheese, a little more fruit and my portions are more modest. This makes me hungry sometimes but it does the trick. I’m hoping not to have to do this forever but it serves as a good reminder about the amount of food I eat and what I have to do to continue making progress.

I took a pre-Zumba selfie the other day and thought I looked quite ‘normal’.

Zumba Ready 10th April 2019

And I nicked these two Zumba class photos off the instructor’s Facebook.

The first is from last week and the second from July last year. Hmmm … quite ‘normal’.

Two stone to go to get into ideal weight range. I don’t quite believe this (two stone is NOTHING) but there’s only one way to find out what 12 stone 6 looks like & that’s to get there. Then maybe lose another ten pounds …

I’m still saying I want to get to eight stone off by the middle of June when I have little holiday booked. A Nick Lowe concert, a day walking around Glasgow (burning calories and eating) and then to Cov for a weekend of parent visiting & the National Flash Fiction Day event. I have a story in the anthology and am hoping to read. In my hometown and with the bestie, Stella there. Stuff of (modest) dreams. Got the urge to buy a new top for the occasion. What a girlie!


The most important contributory factor in my success was, and still is, swimming. This is a piece I wrote for something and it was nicely rejected, but with feedback. I finally looked at the feedback this week and it was all positive. She said I ‘have such a positive attitude to everything’ and ‘There is a sense of joy that radiates through all your writing.’ I’ll take a rejection like that any time.


The Impossible Thing : Swimming a Mile Again

Length One: One… one… one…

Length Two: Love this costume. Halter neck’s so flattering. Shoulders look slim. Slim for me. Two… two…

Lengths Six to Fifteen: Watching the sky get lighter from the window as I swim. So lucky. What’s on the menu tomorrow? Ah yes, corned beef hash. It’s Sunday. Stop thinking about work.

Length Sixteen: Thin lady from the bus. Morning! Yeah, quiet today.

Lengths Seventeen to Twenty-Two: I’ll get some carrots. Carrot and lentil soup. Travelling Wilburys on. Heating on. Soup on. Washing up done. On, on, on, done.

Lengths Twenty-Three to Twenty-Six: In the Isle of Wight and the beads came off my bracelet and bounced all the way down the bus stairs. Loved that bracelet. Such a good holiday. Was it 2003?

Lengths Twenty-Seven to Twenty-Eight: Just past a quarter of the way. I’ll try on those jeans when I get home.

Lengths Twenty-Nine to Thirty-Six: Want to write a chapter for my weight loss memoir / self-help book about the names I got called at school. Fatty. Tank. Two Ton Tessie. Big Bertha. Hey Fatty Boom Boom.

Length Thirty-Seven: Total eclipse of the sun. Need to get baking powder if I want to make cheese scones.

Length Thirty-Eight: What else? Potatoes. Salad Cream. Wish I could write stuff down in here.

Length Thirty-Nine: MUST mop the kitchen floor. It’s not supposed to be grey.

Length Forty: Half hour on ukulele later. C. F. G7. Dm. Need to learn more chords. See myself playing and singing with ease. Lots of practice before then. Just want it to sound like music.

Length Forty-One: Argh!! Water straight up my nose. Why does it do that?

Length Forty-Two: Answer to life, the universe and everything. Douglas Adams’ grave at Highgate. All those pens.

Length Forty-Three: Had an idea for a really good flash yesterday on the way into work. What was it?

Lengths Forty-Four to Forty Nine: I was wondering … it rained last time I was there. My satchel. Crème Eggs. Just swim, Sal.

Length Fifty-Five: Halfway. I can do this in under an hour. Keep going.

Lengths Fifty-Six to Sixty: Censored.

Lengths Sixty-One to Sixty-Two: Book Wednesday evening Zumba. I LOVE Zumba.

Length Sixty-Three: Who’s that? The man with the tattoos. He’ll go in the steam room not the pool. Yeah, there he goes.

Length Sixty Four: When was my last blogpost? I’ll write one tomorrow if there’s time.

Length Sixty-Five: Sixty-seven… sixty-seven… its sixty-FIVE, Sal and you know it. Don’t cheat.

Length Sixty-Six: Woman being shown round ‘It doesn’t get too busy in here does it, Sal?’ ‘Not often, no.’ Chuffed to be asked. I’m a regular now, more than three & a half years on.

Lengths Sixty-Seven to Sixty-Eight: Singing (in my head) ‘Where Everybody Knows Your Name …’ Love it here.

Lengths Sixty-Nine to Seventy-Four: Trying to imagine being at target. Walking down the road knowing I’m in ideal weight range. What will it feel like? Will I fall over?

Rest. Seventy-Four. Admire legs in water. Watch a man faff with his goggles. Underwater straight away? Yep! Once he reaches the other end I’ll set off again.

Length Seventy-Five: That all important seventy-fifth length. I OWN the pool!

Lengths Seventy-Six to Seventy-Eight: Didn’t get that view in Coventry. Cycling on the prom. Living in Morecambe. My own flat. Weight loss. Can’t believe I’m doing this. I made it happen.

Length Seventy-Nine: Cool for Cats. Up the Junction. Squeeze. Two number twos in Seventy-Nine.

Lengths Eighty to Eighty-Four: What’s for tea? I want hot Stilton crisps, Cheetos, a Bounty and a Crunchie. Might make vegetable risotto.

Lengths Eighty-Five to Eighty-Nine: Must ask about Dad’s knee. I told them to stop getting older but they didn’t listen.

Lengths Ninety to Ninety-Seven: What was that idea? Something about old photographs. I had a really good last line too.

Length Ninety-Eight: Twelve to go. Need toilet. Swim. Swim.

Lengths Ninety-Nine to One Hundred: Nearly there. Turn.

Lengths One Hundred to One-Hundred-and-Seven: Fast. Fast. Fast.

Lengths One Hundred-and-Eight to One-Hundred-and-Nine: Go… go… go…

Length One Hundred and Ten: Yes. Steps. Out. Shower. Change. Home to eat. Done. For today.


On Twitter …

110 #greatlengths A mile. Total for month: 1,040 Booked for Zumba. #againandagainandagainandagain


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